This afternoon, around 4:00, we and about 25 other families from the U.S. who have now completed the adoption of their children born in China, went to the U.S. Consulate and filled out one final paper and took the oath. Aaron had a really hard time in the waiting room with so many other people. He cried, and later told us he had been scared when he saw so many people and children. In his own mind, I bet he wondered if we were taking him back/giving him back... Luckily, he was able to be distracted by a spring water machine, and proceeded to pour (and then drink) four cups of water for himself. When we stood for the oath, with the other families, and raised our right hands to swear the oath, Aaron also raised his hand. As we began to repeat the words of the oath, Aaron began to say some of his own words right along with us. It was VERY SWEET! We just enjoyed a wonderful thai meal at the Cow and Bridge Restaurant on Shamian (our THIRD dinner there in a row). Almost time for bath and bed. Tomorrow is our final day here. We need to finish packing, and plan to go to the Hot Pot restaurant for dinner. Love, Nicole |
11. the people in the shops who were so friendly towards us, especially when they realized we had adopted Aaron (keep in mind at first glance, people saw a Chinese man with an American wife and assumed this was our biological child…it was only in shops that cater to adoptive families that when we would share with shopkeepers that we had just adopted our son – then especially they were so happy for us and for Aaron and really got to know us)
10. riding in a taxi here in Guangzhou, and seeing how drivers continuously cut each other off, but it's never taken personally and you rarely hear horns honking
9. squatty potties (I was always scouting out the handicapped bathrooms if available, as they usually had a Western toilet, but even so, I found myself using several squatty potties, which I will never forget!) and the shortage/expense of paperproducts (no napkins in restaurants, no toilet paper in public restrooms) - I will never again complain about public restrooms in America!
6. the polite and helpful bellboys at Holiday Inn Shifu – I never carried the stroller down the stairs myself – they went out of their way to help us. Whenever I said, "Thank you," they said, "It is my pleasure."
5. seeing bamboo scaffolding on skyscrapers – amazing
4. what it feels like to walk down a street in this part of
3. Our incredible driver, Dave, and the story of his life, and all he shared with us, and the picnic lunch he provided us with, at Aaron's Finding Spot (after he visited the orphanage with us, and learned more about Aaron)
2. What it has felt like as a Caucasian, American, fluent English speaker amongst Chinese Mandarin and Cantonese speakers – having seen VERY, VERY few (like less than 10) people who look like me in two weeks – for I know this is about to be my son's experience in America, surrounded by people who do not look, smell, sound like he is used to. It was a VERY important experience for me, a very necessary one – and I'm so glad we chose a hotel situated within the average Chinese community
1. The beautiful children in Aaron's orphanage, children who all deserve families of their own…and my strong desire and determination to return one day for at least one more child born in And then, above all else, I know I will always remember what it felt like to see my son for the first time, and to hold him…
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My online friends on RQ all know this story/situation, but I believe I have neglected thus far to tell about it on our blog. Aaron came to us wearing a red rope bracelet with four jade pieces/beads on it. The first and second nights we bathed him with it on. The third day, after noticing that he had been able to remove it himself while falling asleep for his nap, I chose to take the bracelet off for his bath, as I was worried it might slip off in the soapy water. I BELIEVE I placed it on our bed's comforter. The truth is, I did not think about it again until we were at the orphanage the next day and I wanted to ask who had given it to him. As I reached down for his wrist to point to it, I realized it was not there, and quickly recalled I had removed it for his bath the night before. That evening when we returned to the hotel, exhausted, I looked through the bed sheets/comforter, and on the dresser, nightstands, etc. I could not locate it and was devastated! This was something one of his special caregivers had given him. He has so little to remember his life at the orphanage with as he grows older; I was so upset that i had lost this special keepsake! The next morning we asked the front desk if anyone from housekeeping had reported finding it. They had not. We went out for some shopping, and returned a few hours later to find that someone had THOROUGHLY looked in our room for it, had located it and placed it on the bedside table. We were so relieved! It is now back on Aaron's wrist, and when I remove it at bathtime, I make sure to put it in a SAFE place, and put right back on after bath! Nicole |
Nothing hugely new to report. We took a taxi to the Garden Hotel today. Okay, the hotel lobby is PHENOMENAL - probably the fanciest I have ever seen; I was overwhelmed walking around there! We went to the Friendship Store, which I knew tends to have much higher prices than other shops. However, we had not been able to find a Chinese version of the Disney Pixar Cars movie (which Donovan LOVES, and Aaron is about to be immersed into upon arriving at his new house, including the bedding on his new bed) and some Thomas the Train or Tigger & Pooh dvds. We were able to find the Cars movie and bought two Tigger & Pooh dvds. Actually the prices on those were the same as some Chinese history and folktales and a DingDong movie Rupert bought a few days ago. We got back, ate lunch, and went out for a walk on the pedestrian shopping street, while our room was being cleaned. Then, came back and Aaron is down for a nap. Tomorrow our guide goes to the American Consulate for us, Tuesday we take our Oath at the American Consulate, and Wednesday at 4 pm Aaron's American Visa is ready. We fly out of Guangzhou around 11 am on Thursday, then stay one night in Hong Kong (at the Regal Hotel) and fly out on Friday morning for home. Think good thoughts for us on the long flight home, and that Aaron does alright. This evening we may walk back to Shamian for a couple more gifts and dinner at one of the Chinese restaurants there, which we have not yet tried. I've had several people comment that I need to post more photos. I CAN'T post them from China for some reason. I had emailed some to a good friend at home (Thank you Kristen!), but now I'm not even able to email them to her. Once I am home I'll publish all the comments and I'll add photos. We do plan to keep updating the blog once we are home. Love, Nicole |
I am enjoying reading all of the comments people are leaving on my blog! They come to my Yahoo email and so I am able to read them in China, but due to Internet issues cannot actually publish the comments. (I think I should set aside an entire naptime of the boys once we are home, to publish the comments one by one!) Anyways, we are really enjoying reading the comments. After following so many other people's blogs over the years, and occassionally leaving comments, it's now wonderful to be on the receiving end! I want to respond to a few of the questions/comments we've been getting: People have commented on being impressed with how much we are doing and how we are doing keeping up with blogging. * With regards to the blogging - Aaron takes a 2 hour nap each afternoon and at night is sleeping about 7:30 - 7am, so after he is asleep, so when he first goes to bed at night, or during his nap, I can blog easily. * With regards to how much we are doing, let me first say I am not an adventurous person, at all. I did a lot of research before the trip and made lists of what I absolutely wanted to do (Lotus Mountain, Six Banyan Temple, Xiangjiang Safari) and then some optional tings. Also, we are not in a group, so unless it is a day with a required adoption appointment, we are on our own and can either arrange it with our driver ahead of time, or have our hotel get us a taxi. And, everything is easier if one's husband is Chinese and speaks Cantonese and a tiny bit of Mandarin :) * Also, remember that we are in Guangzhou the entire trip and we got here with three full days before receiving Aaron. One day was spent acclimating ourselves to the area, buying a stroller, and just getting the room organized. Second day we did the White Cloud Mountain (in the pouring rain!) and then the third day we did the Lotus Mountain/Lianhua Mountain, which was a HUGE trip for us. I would not have done it with a child this young. Our guide said of all the families she has had over the years, no one has ever asked to go there. She also said not many families go to the Xiangjiang Safari as they think it is expensive. Some go to the Guangzhou Zoo instead (which we have heard AWFUL things about). I cannot say enough wonderful things about the Safari!! Best thing we have done as a family while here. Our Hotel Yes, we LOVE it. The walk to Shamian is easy for us and much easier than navigating through the construction zone on Shamian! I know a lot of you who have asked about the hotel are soon to travel and members of RQ. I've put a ton on there about the hotel and why it is perfect for us. Next time (!) I will absolutely stay here again! Anyone considering staying here, please email me with any questions you have! How I am Doing GREAT! Best I've felt in my life! Close friends (and those on RQ) know I have always had major GI problems, and those worsened the past year - and I'd been realy worried about the trip to China, especially when we have not yet found a med. to solve the issues. Well, I packed enough Immodium for about 10 average people, and I've not needed much of it at all. Ironically, a medicine my regular doctor prescribed for the trip for some severe headaches I've been having (muscle relaxant, and told me to take it to prevent these dehibilitating headaches) seem to actually be helping the GI issues. The first week here I felt 100% fine (for the first time in a long time). Of course, I'm having no dairy while here, very little gluten, so who knows...maybe those food sensitivities play into things more than I think. In any case, all my worrying about food poisoning (based on several quite horrific experiences in my life), etc. has caused me to be very, very cautious here, and so far (knock on wood), I've been fine! Anyhow, I'm fine and thrilled to be feeling so great! Was there really a microwave in our room? Several online friends from RQ have asked this, some poking fun at me and all my questions I posted while packing. Yes, I did bring three bags of microwavable popcorn, and no our suite does not have a microwave, although still on the Shifu room info. it does same some suites have microwaves! Packing - Anything I wished I had brought? Anything I brought but don't need? Again, in reference to my thousands of packing questions on RQ in the past months. Honestly, I don't think there is a thing I brought that I wouldn't bring again! What I wished I had brought - more LONG pants, warmer clothing - it's been cold here! - more pjs without feet for Aaron - he won't wear the feet ones! - scissors and tape And mostly I wish my darn LL Bean raincoat had not disappeared from my carryon somewhere between JFK airport and China...Not pleasant to be in Guangzhou this time of year with no raincoat! Rupert and Aaron are fine, as they have theirs, and I'm using the umbrella. You all know I brought basically a suitcase full of snacks (instant oatmeal, protein bars, instant soup, pb, bread, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc). I'd still bring it all! I'm tending to eat lunch in the room, and Rupert gets a takeout of a rice dish or noodle dish for him and Aaron. We have a wonderful breakfast here at the Shifu, a small lunch, and then a dinner at an authentic Chinese restaurant. I'm doing fine with the food, but glad I brought the snacks. Aaron loves the Vanilla Wafers (Mini Nilla Wafers), so I wish I brought more of those. The Gatorade powder is great because water does get boring after so long... Most of all, just thanks for all the great comments on the blog. Thank you for all your support during this time in China. We are looking forward to coming home on Friday, but of course, sad to say goodbye to Aaron's homeland. Think that's about it for now! |
This morning Aaron woke at 5 am (now that would be like Donovan to do!),but luckily went back to sleep (until 8!). After breakfast, we took a taxi (so easy to do here) to go to visit two special places. The first was Dr. Sun Yan-Sen Memorial Hall. He was the "George Washington of China" it seems. The grounds were beautiful - lots of flowers, garden areas, and we enjoyed walking around taking photos. The memorial hall is phenomenal architecture and we took many photos. We paid a few yuans to go inside the Memorial Hall. It was interesting for us to read the information about Dr. Sun Yan-Sen and walk through the museum. There is a large theatre in the middle which is absolutely beautiful. It seemed it would be a quick walk to the next site we wished to visit, The Six Banyan Tree Temple/ LiuRong Temple. It was about a 10 minute walk. I must say, I was NOT impressed with the temple. Perhaps this is after being to Lotus Mountain/Lianhua Mountain and visiting the incredible temples there. The Six Banyan Tree Temple is VERY SMALL, very touristy (restaurant inside, LOTs of tour groups - maybe due to Trade Fair). We walked around for a few minutes, took some photos, and then at the main temple, asked about having Aaron blessed by the monks - which I have heard other families have been able to do. It took quite a lot of work on Rupert's part to locate a monk. Finally, we removed our shoes, and went into the inner part of the temple, beneath a beautiful statue of Buddha, and the monk began his blessing. There was another family - Chinese with their child, also in that inner section during the blessing. I'm not sure if Aaron became scared, or really had to go to the bathroom, but he began saying he had to use the bathroom and began crying. Luckily, the monk finished his blessing, used Holy Water on Aaron, and we were able to quickly leave and get Aaron to the bathroom. When we were walking TO the Six Banyan Temple along LiuRong Road, we saw all the stores selling statues of Buddha and Guan Yin, incense, and other religious items - just as had been the case when we had driven to Lianhua Mountain. Unlike our visit to Lianhua Mountain, on the street leading to the LiuRong Temple, there were quite a few people (maybe 15-20) begging. These people all had physical deformities/birth defects; people missing limbs (and no prosthetics available here to the average person), people who were blind, people with severe birth marks, adults with cleft lips and others with club feet (never corrected as children - such a routine surgery/treatment in U.S. but again, unavailable to the average person here in China). I found this very difficult - not that people were begging - but seeing the people with birth defects (where you see no where else here in China except the orphanages). I wondered very much if these adults had lived their childhood years in orphanages, turned out of the orphanages onto the street at age 14 - which is the practice in China - the orphanages can only care for them until age 14. Maybe they were not former orphanage residents...but in any case, the deformities/birth defects I saw could have been easily fixed in the U.S. and these people could have led such a different life in the U.S. And most of all, that here in China, a person's physical disability/birth defect defines them (no access to schooling, no chance at marriage, no one to hire them....) It was just very emotional for me, thinking how different their lives could have been in a different country like the U.S. with access to medical care and laws that protect those with physical disabilities from discrimination... We easily took a taxi back to the hotel, where we are about to have lunch and put Aaron down for a nap. This afternoon we have some errands to run - photos to pick up, laundry to pick up, and just LITTLE more shopping... Love, Nicole |
Yes, It's the Same Feeling For anyone who wonders, or isn't sure...yes, it's the same feeling... From someone who has one son by birth and now one son by adoption, I can honestly say it is the exact same feeling...I think everyone (including me) may have wondered if it really is the same...and now I know, 100%, yes, it's the same feeling. For those who have given birth, you know the feelings you experience at the moment you deliver and the moment your child is handed to you and you hold him/her for the first time. I can now say, it is exactly the same feeling when your meet your child for the first time. Whether carrying your child in your body for 9 months, or carrying your child in your heart for 5 months, when you meet your child for the first time, the feelings are the same... It's the feelings all mothers have for their children - love, anticipation, hope, wonder, a sense of a new beginning... We are so blessed to have both Aaron and Donovan as our sons. |
After our long day yesterday, today is a relaxing day, as should be both days this weekend. We enjoyed the buffet breakfast and walked to Shamian this morning. (For those of you soon to travel, the walk from Shifu to Shamian is EASY. It took us 5-8 minutes before our son, and about 12-15 with him in a stroller. We just take him out of the stroller, have him walk the stairs on the overpass, and the other person carries the stroller. No big deal. And also, contrary to what others have said YOU DO NOT HAVE TO WALK THROUGH THE WET MARKET. We walk through the pet market and then a dry goods market, and to the overpass. Furthermore, the walk is a lot easier than navigating around Shamian with the tremendous construction there.) Once on Shamian, we went back to the medical examination center to have Aaron's TB test read. It was fine, which we already knew, as there was no reaction on his skin whatsoever from the tb test. They also translated his immunizations, not that it makes much of a difference for us, as our pediatrician will run titers once Aaron is home. We went to the White Swan and walked around. It is so fancy and exquisite inside. We will go back one more time with our camera to get some photos of Aaron near the fish pond and spectacular water fall (when we go to drop off/pick up laundry at A Gift From China). Then we spent the next hour shopping. Rupert says we ARE DONE SHOPPING NOW. We will see! We bought seven traditional Chinese silk outfits for Aaron and Donovan today, in sizes 6-12, for the future. GORGEOUS outfits - for between 40 and 80 yuan, so less than 30 USD - incredible prices that we just can't pass up. We went into a store (Andy's Shop, right next to Victory Hotel) and as soon as we walked in I thought it would be so expensive...nope, some of the BEST prices we've encounterd so far. We bought a LOT - two silk outfits for Aaron and Donovan, silk scarves, a silk purse, etc. etc. Then we came back near Shifu to buy snacks for Aaron, and to drop off the two disposable cameras the orphanage had given us, which have photos of Aaron on them. It did take some time to find the shop that develops film, but finally did and they will be back tomorrow. We met a lovely family from Michigan who was here with their four children on a Homeland Tour. They have one biological son, two daughters adopted from China, and one son adopted from China. They children born in China looked to be about 14, 12, and 8. All three were from different provinces. The family had toured Beijing, then spent several days in each child's province and was able to go visit each child's SWI. They said it was incredible - such a warm welcome with firecrackers, etc. I am sure the SWI staff members were so thrilled to see these children come back for a visit and to see how well they are doing and how loved they are. Then, the family was in Guangzhou for a few days and last stop would be Hong Kong, which would include a trip to Disney. We had a lovely talk with them. Like us, they have one biological child and then went on to a child, and then another child, and then another child. We talked about what a wonderful experience adopting from China is, and the trip, etc. Aaron is sleeping now for his nap. He takes about a 2 hour nap, though the SWI said only one hour. Either it is the increased activity and new surroundings, or perhaps they specifically woke the children up after an hour. We have no appointments this weekend. Monday our guide goes to the American Consulate with all our paperwork, for us. Tuesday we go to the American Consulate at 3:30 to take our Oath. Then Wednesday our guide picks up Aaron's passport and visa at 4 pm adn on Thursday morning we fly to Hong Kong, where we will stay overnight before our big Cathay Pacific flight. We are enjoying Aaron so much! Love, Nicole |
I have known Aaron's finding location, since the day I read through his original paperwork. I knew I wanted to see it when we went to Shenzhen. We asked at the SWI, and they confirmed the spot, and that when Aaron was found, there was no note with him (there sometimes is a note left with abandoned babies in When I had first read the report of where Aaron was found, it said he was found beside a riverbank. This seemed quite unusual to me, because I was used to reading so many stories of babies abandoned in Rupert stayed with Aaron in the car. I felt strongly I would not take Aaron back to the spot where as a baby he was left alone, where no one he knew came when he cried. I am the mother who will comfort him and always be there for him. And so, our guide and I, got out of the car. We walked through the market – farmers selling beautiful produce and people selling other items. I am so glad that we were able to locate this spot. There were signs that they are starting construction to make this into a more modern shopping area and in fact construction equipment was at work along the river's edge. A year from now, it will look very different…it is good we could find it today. I did take a few photos, for Aaron to have when he is older. I took photos of the market and of the homes. It seemed to be a very poor area. I knelt down and said a prayer. I wish somehow, his birth family could know that the child they abandoned has now found a new family, a family who will love and cherish him for always. I wish they could know that he is going to And I know that as much as I am tempted to, I cannot pass judgment on what happened in those early months. For it is part of my new son's story; it is part of how he has come to be my son. And, I do know the reality is that it is highly likely it was NOT his birth mother who abandoned him; in many, many cases it is NOT the birth mother, but instead is the mother-in-law (the birth father's mother) who abandons the child (a girl, when the family wanted a boy; a child with a birth defect; a 2nd son in a country where the stiff penalties for having a 2nd child are steep - too much for most families in China; or a child who is sick, in a family unable to afford medical care). The specific details of Aaron's finding are private information which we will share with Aaron when he is older. (As we read the details in the report, we were filled with quite a few questions, which we will never have the answers to, and always wonder about.) I do know that just as our orphanage visit, the images will be in my mind forever. I don't mean they will haunt me. Rather they will reinforce to me every day of my life that we are so lucky to have Aaron in our life. When we returned to the car, our guide Dave had left the car, to use a restroom we assumed. Wensi had bought some Bao'an bananas which we all enjoyed (very sweet!) and then we filled out paperwork for the American Consulate. Rupert got out and walked along the marketplace. Soon, Dave came back…with HIS SISTER…she teaches math for grades 8-12 at a secondary school just one kilometer from Aaron's finding spot. He had called her, and she has lunchbreak from 12-2:20 (!, but teaches until 5:40) and the two of them had gotten us lunch. So, we sat in the car (raining hard out) and enjoyed a picnic lunch. Aaron devoured a chicken wing, and ate some congee. This was so thoughtful of Dave, who Aaron now calls Big Brother in Chinese. I cannot imagine many other families adopting from It was a wonderful day. Tomorrow we must go back to the Off to bed now! Love, Nicole |
