Our "Amazing Race" like experience (longest post ever!)

Today is going to be a LONG post!

Rupert and I have always enjoyed watching the reality tv show, “The Amazing Race.” However, for MANY reasons, I know I could never be on that show! I like things to go as planned, and get easily annoyed when things do not go my way. When we watch the show, and a contestant loses his passport, the driver gets lost, or their car breaks down and they have to wait for a new car to arrive, I always look at Rupert and say, “That’s exactly why I would NEVER make it on that show.” Well…today I do believe we had an experience that seemed just like we were on the Amazing Race.

Now, most travel sites on the Internet say this spectacular site, requires a full day of visiting. However, I’ve known a couple families who did it in ½ a day, so we planned to be there from 10:30 – 1:30 and home by 3. Hmm…not exactly how it happened.

Our wonderful driver, Dave picked us up promptly at 9 am. We had been told it was a 75-90 minute drive to Lotus Mountain in Panyu. Our drive turned out to be 2 hours, 15 minutes, because Dave got lost. Luckily, he is not like those American men who are too stubborn to ask directions. Nope, when his GPS wasn’t helping, Dave pulled over and asked numerous people along the way. In the end, a man on a motorcycle led us the rest of the way (think 20 minutes in car in China chasing after man on motorcycle, while avoiding bicyclists…) So, some of the money Dave was making from driving us, went to that man. This reminded me of Amazing Race so much, when those lucky contestants actually find a local person to lead them to the next spot.

In Dave’s defense, he said he had been there once before, but someone else had driven. This is not a spot adoptive families visit for the most part.

Okay, so we FINALLY get there. Now we have a choice to pay to drive up, or to walk up. It’s a 30 minute walk they say (uphill). After all our walking yesterday, I just want to get UP there and enjoy the landscape and see the Guan Yin statue. So, we pay to drive up, and Dave says he will pay for himself. We separate from Dave to go on our way, bringing our phone to call him when we are done. We tour around the Holy Land of Guan Yin for about 90 minutes, totally amazed – and made some special purchases. One of those purchases was a statue of Guan Yin to give Aaron when he is older. (Rupert’s parents bought us a gorgeous Guan Yin statue in Hong Kong last year, and that statue will one day go to Donovan, so we wanted one for Aaron bought at this special place, which is not far from his orphanage.) Now, the monk who helped us, mentioned that for an extra $20, the monks would bless the statue. Rupert said no. I asked him what he thought his mom would do if she was there. He said probably get it blessed, but he was also afraid that if we were to get it blessed, and on the plane ride home it were to break, it would be very bad luck. I said, well, I guess with all the praying that goes on in this temple, perhaps you can consider her already blessed. Now…I am teasing Rupert a lot that what transpired next is a consequence for him choosing not to get the statue blessed 

At around 12:45 we called Dave, got back in the car, and asked
that he drive us to the section of the resort that had the incredible landscape (similar to Grand Canyon, with the layers of different colored rocks, worn away over the years). Dave drove to the area, and as we hopped out of the car, Rupert decided to leave his backpack in the car since we wouldn’t be gone long, BUT he did not tell Dave this, and Rupert’s phone was in that backpack! For about 45 minutes we walked through the park taking photos of the incredible landscape. When we approached the minivan, we realized the phone was INSIDE it, and that we had no way to reach Dave inside this mammoth park. It took us about 15 minutes to locate him. And, then the real fun began…

Dave started up the car, backed out of the parking space, started up the steep hill, and then tried to pull into an empty parking space to back up/back around, and head down the mountain. Something went wrong with his car, and it stalled MULTIPLE (like over 10) times. In the end, he had to back down the hill. Then, he could not get the car started. It seemed the handbrake was stuck, even though it was in the off/down position. He tried and tried and tried. Then he called his mechanic. At this point I am realizing we are potentially going to be stranded at this resort, two hours from our hotel.

We get out of the minivan and sit on a stone bench nearby. We watch Dave try again and again and again to start the minivan. No luck. It seems it will not start when it believes the parking brake is on. Dave says the mechanic thinks maybe something overheated (not likely in our opinion). He goes and gets water from the pond and pours it on where the break meets the tires. No improvement. I suggest they try to push the minivan forward to dislodge the parking break. They do this (Dave looking very frightened at the prospect). We hear a loud click, assume the parking break has been dislodged and Dave is able to start the car. However, it will not move into gear and cannot be driven. (I’m sorry I wasn’t fast enough to get a video of Rupert and Dave pushing the minivan.) Now, Dave says he is going to call a friend to come get all of us. However, that friend is in Guangzhou, so it will take 90 more minutes (actually would be two hours because just like Dave, the friend got lost…).

Now reality sets in for me, I’m hungry (just had a banana for lunch and I do not skip meals, ever), have to pee (and the prospect of using a squatty potty does not appeal to me one bit), and I realize we are basically 3-5 hours from being at our hotel (and dinner). UGH! This is like the Amazing Race contestants whose car dies and a new one has to be driven to them. But on the show, it always seems to get there quickly.

Now, remember that we had opted to pay to drive up. Well…now that Dave’s friend was on his way (well, lost on his way), we need to walk down the mountain to the entrance to meet him. So, here we are hot (did I not mention how HUMID it was), tired, sore (from yesterday’s walking too), hungry, and I still have to pee. We walk down the mountain road (Rupert carrying that Guan Yin statue that he’s now wishing he had gotten blessed ), and I think we are doing so because Dave’s friend is at the bottom of the mountain. Nope…We get down there and have to wait at least 30 more minutes. (Though Rupert and Dave had a great conversation.)

Then, Dave’s friend arrives. Dave lets us know he is going to walk back up the mountain to wait for a towtruck. (Poor Dave!) He explains to his friend where our hotel is. Now, I have discovered that riding in a regular Chinese person’s car is a lot different than a taxi or private driver. It was a wild experience. How Chinese drivers fit 4 and 5 lanes of cars into a 3 lane road, I just have no idea. They are INSANE drivers. They make NYC drivers look calm and organized. And, because we were now coming back to Guangzhou at 4pm, there was tremendous traffic. I thought we would never get to the hotel. Now we are back, safe and sound, but if we had been on the Amazing Race, we would have been the last team to the pit stop and been eliminated. Suffice to say, we will NOT be trying out for the show.

Still glad we went to Lotus Mountain! This will surely be the most memorable experience we had in China, BEFORE getting Aaron!