One year ago today, one day after Donovan turned 3 years old, I saw my first photo of Aaron's sweet face, and knew immediately that he was supposed to be my son; I was supposed to be his mother. It was something instinctive, something in my heart. The only way I can describe it is to say, at that moment, when I first saw his photo, it felt no different than looking at a photo of Donovan. I just KNEW; I just KNEW he was MY SON.
I immediately requested his file. I remember calling to Rupert in the other room and showing him the photo and saying, "This little boy is supposed to be our son." Of course Rupert asked, "Are you sure? How do you know?" I said, "I'm sure. I don't know how I know, but I just KNOW he is supposed to be my son. I'm supposed to be his mom."
On this day (and every day) I think especially of a woman who I will likely never know in person, who responded to an online inquiry I made on RQ (Rumor Queen), a forum for parents who have or are adopting from China. This special woman, Shannon, told me her agency had just received a new list of waiting children, and now had about 100 children on their list. She specifically mentioned a gorgeous 2 year old boy. The truth is, since we weren't looking for a BOY, I didn't pay attention to the ID# of the boy she had mentioned. Shannon's agency was Great Wall of China Adoption. I quickly emailed them and within minutes received a password to view the list. I began looking down the list at all the adorable children's photos. A few minutes later, as I scrolled down the list, about 3/4 of the way down the page, a photo caught my eye. (It's the photo at the top of today's post.) Looking at the photo, I said aloud, “That’s my son.” It felt no different than looking at my son, Donovan. After staring at this gorgeous little boy's photo for quite some time, I clicked back on the woman’s email and saw that the child she had been telling me about was #97. Going back to Great Wall’s website, I began scrolling down, looking for #97, only to discover,... the little boy I had felt such a strong connection to WAS #97! The boy who had caught my eye, who I knew immediately, without a doubt was to be MY SON, was the SAME child this woman had been emailing me about. That night I emailed Great Wall and asked to review his file. The next day it was emailed to me. At the time I reviewed his file, I already knew in my heart, he was my son. It was similar to the feeling of when I was pregnant with Donovan; I knew the child growing inside me was my child, but I had not yet held him in my arms. Looking at Bao Xinsheng’s photos and reading his file, I already knew he was my son – I just had not held him in my arms yet…
And now, one year later, the sweet boy in that photo is MY son, and my world is so much better having him in my life.
I'm going to end this post, with a HINT of what is to come...
"Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act." Proverbs 24:12
The above Bible verse is a huge hint at our news which will be shared soon...(I'm sure most of you can certainly figure out what our news is! It will come as no surprise to those who truly know us.)
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