Donovan's Reaction

Over the weekend, we showed Donovan photos of Aaron, and told him, “This is your brother.” His first reaction was, “Oh Wow!” and “Okay, but I’m not going to share my toys with him.” He then proceeded to ask, “But, where is my brother going to sleep? You and Daddy sleep in your bed; I sleep in my bed; Where is my brother going to sleep?” Perfect timing, as we had picked up Aaron’s toddler bed recently and it just needed to be put together. Donovan and Rupert put it together over the weekend. Then Donovan said, “But my brother needs a mattress.” We got the mattress out, and put a sheet on it, but Donovan suggested we get “a nice sheet and blanket like mine,” for Aaron. They’ve been ordered! Several times over the weekend Donovan went to check on his brother’s bed to make sure it was “just right” for Aaron. He would walk by the fridge and take off the magnetic pictures of Aaron, and say, “That’s my brother.” He was even seen kissing the photos. When he talked to Grandma before bed, he ran and got the photos and said, “I’m looking at my brother right now. We made his bed today.” I’m so excited for Donovan to be a big brother – as is he!
Today Donovan took photos of Aaron to daycare and at Circle time, shared then and said, “This is my brother.” He did talk about sharing toys with his brother and teaching him some games. One of the other boys who has a younger sibling announced to his mom at pickup time, “Guess what, Donovan’s getting a brother, and he’s the same age as Donovan!” Donovan is now realizing his good fortune at having a brother his own age, who can play like a “big boy,” instead of a baby who would cry and not play like he does. Interesting perspective!
Tomorrow Donovan's closet is being redone to accomodate two bars to hang clothing on and two shelves. We have chosen to have the two brothers share a bedroom, as least to start with. Since they are the same age, I think it will be easier for getting them ready for bed, stories, etc. to have them in the same room. Also, I suspect it will help to ease Aaron's transition. I've seen photos of the 2 and 3 year olds' room at the Bao'an orphanage - 30-40 beds pressed up to each other all across the room. I can't imagine him then moving into a large bedroom all alone. For now, he and Donovan belong together. I would expect bunk beds are in their future, and if they want to have separate bedrooms when they are older, we can do that.
And as I look at the larger bedroom, with the crib and pink bedding meant for a little girl, for right now I'm not ready to put those away. Don't get me wrong, I don't doubt for a second that Aaron is supposed to be our son - (I know it in my heart just as I know Donovan is my son); it's just that I'm not ready to give up on that dream to adopt a little girl from China. In a few years I fully expect to be back in China adopting our third child - a little girl. And so for now, the crib, pink bedding, and dresses in the closet are staying, and our two boys will share a bedroom.